The Waltons and its characters are property of Earl Hamner, Jr., and all legal copyright holders. This story is not intended to infringe upon the rights of any copyright holder.
July 30, 1928
I fear I may die from utter frustration. Daniel’s colleague from William and Mary arrived three days ago to examine the cave paintings we found. Of course, with Daniel’s career at stake, it is of the utmost importance that we be discreet about our affair d’amour. Daniel and Dr. Hapswell have gone up the mountain each day, leaving me alone to pine among the dust mops and dishes.
We did manage to squeeze a few hours alone together on Sunday, before Dr. Hapswell arrived. Daniel took me to a secluded spot near White Fawn Creek where he made love to me twice in the shade of an ancient oak tree.
I must admit, after our first rendezvous, I was somewhat disappointed in the realities of physical love. It seemed painfully uncomfortable at first. But Daniel was patient with my ignorance, and gently he taught me all the pleasures my body could learn. By the third time, it seemed I would faint from sheer bliss. Now, finally, I know what the poets mean. Now, finally, my life has begun.
“You’re very quiet this afternoon, Corabeth.”
“I know.” She trailed her finger over the rough material covering Dr. Marshall’s sofa, scratching gently as she did so.
“Do you want to continue telling me about Daniel Dechaine?”
She sniffed, a vacant look in her eyes. “No.”
“About Aimee’s return on Thanksgiving?”
“No.”
Elliott leaned over, placing his clipboard on the desk. “Okay, then. Did you see the Ed Sullivan show last night?”
She shot him a quizzical look.
“Well, you’re paying for the hour. I figured we’d better talk about something.“
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Are you experiencing any side effects with the medication?”
“No. I’m sleeping well.”
“No nightmares?”
“If I have them, I’m not remembering them.”
He folded his arms in his lap, stretching slightly. “Well, that’s an improvement.” He studied her for a while, allowing her the silence that seemed comfortable to her just now. She was looking better. When she’d started coming in January, she looked terrible--tired, bloodshot eyes. Shell-shocked, it seemed.
He’d started the meds mainly to stabilize her sleep patterns, with a very clear understanding that the sleeping pills were for a limited time only. Corabeth had a history of addictive behavior, and he wasn’t about to give her another vice to fall in to.
She’d been doing well, too. But there was something she didn’t want to say, something she was not ready to discuss with him. The last two sessions had been pretty much the same thing--discussing the same old issues of inadequacy and failure. She was a smart woman--she knew how to play the game.
But Elliott was just as smart as she was. Sooner or later, he was going to get her through to herself. It was just a matter of time.
“I don’t know why Mr. Godsey insisted on your staying here.” Corabeth seemed downright uncomfortable as Olivia unpacked her overnight bag.
“Well, he’s going to be overnight in Lexington; he didn’t want you to be lonely.” That was a lie, Olivia said to herself. The truth was, he didn’t want her to be alone. Period. She and John had stayed as far out of Ike and Corabeth’s business as possible, but it was obvious to everyone who knew them that something was seriously wrong with Corabeth. Olivia knew she’d taken Aimee’s elopement hard, but she wasn’t prepared for the ashen look on Ike’s face when he asked her to come stay with his wife. He’d tried to pretend that it was just to keep her company, but it was pretty obvious he was nervous about leaving her for even one night.
“I am a grown woman. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“Of course you are, Corabeth.” She squeezed her friend’s arm gently. “You know, I feel like a school girl again. It’s like a sleep over. We can do each other’s hair, and talk about boys, and eat cookie dough without even baking it. It’ll be fun.”
The hollow look in Corabeth’s eyes stripped the false enthusiasm clean out of the air. “No. I’m not really up to that tonight, Olivia. I think I’ll just turn in early.” And she disappeared into the bedroom without another word.
He drove by it twice before he figured out which was the right house. “2483 Sycamore,” he read from the tattered blue envelope. That was the address. The sun was going down just as he pulled the Chrysler into the driveway. For a moment, he didn’t think he could open the door. He hadn’t called. Maybe no one was home. There was no car in the driveway.
A light came on in the front window, and Ike bolted upright in the driver’s seat. Somebody was home. Might as well get this over with.
He opened the door and eased out of the car. The drive to Arlington had been grueling, and his muscles were stiff and sore. He stretched and then walked the few yards from the driveway to the front door.
Aimee was on the front step and in his arms before he could even ring the bell. “Papa!”
He pulled her close, hugging her like he would never let go. “Baby,” he whispered into her fine blonde hair. “Baby...Aimee.” He felt himself begin to cry like a fool, but he didn’t care. He kissed her cheeks and hair, again and again as they laughed and cried at the same time. “Oh, sweetie,” he murmured. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“I wanted to surprise you.” He let go of her just enough to step back and take a look. “Let me get a look at you.”
“Well, you certainly did surprise me. I look awful.”
He grinned at her tear-stained face and red eyes. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all year.”
She smiled, then looked behind him purposefully at the car. Finding it empty, she frowned. “You’re alone?”
“Yeah, honey. I’m...I’m sorry.” He noted her dark expression, and changed the subject. “So, are you going to keep me on the front step forever, or am I going to meet my grand-baby?”
Corabeth could not remember what had happened. She lay there, her eyes weighted shut, limbs heavy and tired. Nothing was clear--her head hurt.
“Mama?”
“It’s all right, child.” Her mother’s voice smoothed through the fog in her brain, softer, kinder than it had been in a long time. “You must rest.”
“What happened?”
“Shhhhhhh. Quiet, child. It’s all right, Corabeth.”
“It’s all right, Corabeth.” Olivia shook her friend gently by the shoulders. The woman’s cries had woken her from a deep sleep; for a moment; confused, Olivia thought at first it was one of her own children having a nightmare. “Corabeth, honey, wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
“Mama?” she asked, half sleeping and half awake.
“It’s me, Olivia. You were having a nightmare.”
That seemed to register. “Olivia?”
“Yes, remember? I’m staying the night while Ike’s in Lexington.” She took the shaking woman in her arms and began to rock her slowly. “My goodness, that must have been one heck of a dream.”
Corabeth said nothing, but allowed Olivia to stroke her hair. Within moments, she was asleep again. Olivia watched her sleep for a few minutes, wondering just exactly what Ike wasn’t telling them.
Little Beth was asleep in his arms. Ike just couldn’t stop looking at her. She was amazing--her little mouth and hands, the little nose and cheeks. She had balled her tiny fingers around his pinky and was holding on for dear life as she dozed. “She’s marvelous,” he whispered to Aimee. “Just...wow.”
Aimee smiled. “I hate to do this to you, Papa, but it’s way past her bed time.”
Ike sighed, but nodded. “You’re the mommy.”
“Here, I’ll put her to bed.” Jeff lifted the sleeping child from Ike’s lap and disappeared into the nursery, leaving his wife and father-in-law alone to broach the subject both had been avoiding all evening.
“So.” Ike looked around the sparsely furnished room. It was hardly fancy, but it was clean and in good shape. “You’ve done very nicely with the house.”
“Thank you, Papa.” She seemed just as uncomfortable. “Would you like some tea? Coffee, maybe?”
“No, sweetie. I’m fine. Just...” He nodded his head, tapping a finger on his knee in a rhythmic drone. “Fine.”
“Fine?” She let out a heavy sigh. “We’re all just fine, aren’t we?”
The irony of the statement was hardly lost on him. Ike couldn’t meet her gaze.
“So, do you want to tell me why you drove all the way to Arlington on a week night? I’m sure it wasn’t to compliment my decorating skills.”
“Well, honey...” He laughed without humor. “This may sound crazy, but I was hoping you and Jeff would come up to the mountain for Thanksgiving.”
She started to protest, but he stopped her. “Look, I know things haven’t been all that smooth between you and your mother--”
“All that smooth? Papa, she’s practically disowned me!”
“It would mean a lot to her.”
“Really?” She pulled her feet under her, knocking one of the pillows off the couch as she did. “I suppose that’s why she got all dressed up and drove up to Arlington with you, right?”
“Honey--”
“Look, Papa, I’m sorry you came up here for nothing. But I’m through bending over backwards to please her. If she can’t accept my life as it is, that’s her problem. But I’m not going to--”
“She’s sick.”
His words stopped her mid-sentence. “What do you mean she’s sick?”
“Well,” he stumbled for the words. “She’s not sick in a physical way. She’s more, I don’t know, heart-sick.”
“Heart-sick?” She sounded skeptical. “Or just playing for sympathy, like she always does?”
“Aimee, this is serious. Your mother hasn’t left the house since your Uncle Frank’s funeral.”
“That was over nine months ago.”
“I know. She just seems to have given up. Like she has nothing to live for. Honey, I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Aimee held her words for a moment, then said bitterly, “She’s probably just too embarrassed to face the neighbors after her tramp daughter ran off with a mechanic.”
“Don’t say that, sweetie.”
“Papa, you know it’s true. She’ll never forgive me for marrying Jeff and ruining all her plans for my brilliant career.”
“It’s not that. It’s so much more than that. She hasn’t been sleeping; when she does sleep, she has terrible nightmares. Most days she can’t even get out of bed. Then she’ll just up and tear the house apart looking for a knitting needle.”
Something in the tone of his voice caught Aimee’s attention and she turned suddenly grim. “Papa, is she drinking again?”
He shook his head. “No. In a way, I wish she was. At least, then I’d know how to handle it. This--this has got me beaten.” He looked at her helplessly. “I don’t know what to do.”
She seemed to soften for a moment, but then her voice turned hard. “She’s a strong woman. She’ll get over it.”
“Aimee, it would mean so much to her. Maybe seeing the baby--maybe it would give her something to live for.”
“I am not going to allow her to live vicariously through my daughter the way she did through me.” She faltered at Ike’s hurt expression, but continued. “I’m sorry, Papa. But I have to be firm on this...for Beth’s sake. Mama has to live her own life; I’m not going to sacrifice Beth just to give her something to keep her interested.”
Ike shifted nervously in the easy chair. “I didn’t want to tell you this.”
“Tell me what?”
“Last week, I came in from the store to find your mama sitting on the kitchen floor, surrounded by every knife in the house. She had them all laid out on the floor, neatly, in order of size. She was just staring at them. It scared the hell out of me. When I asked her what she was doing, it was almost like she didn’t know who I was.”
Aimee felt a chill run down her spine. She hated seeing her father like this. But if it was a matter of her mother’s life versus her child’s life, Aimee saw only one choice. “If Mother needs help,” she said flatly, “I’m sure there are several qualified psychiatrists in Charlottesville who are highly qualified to treat her.”
Ike looked as if he had been struck.
“I’m sorry, Papa. But I just can’t.”
“Aimee, do you love your mother?”
She groaned, “It’s about so much more than that.”
“There is nothing more than that. Answer me. Do you love your mother?”
“Of course I do.”
Ike turned a hard gaze on his daughter. “Then I suggest you make your peace with her soon. Because I don’t think she’s going to make it through the year.” He left the room without another word.
Aimee watched as he disappeared into the spare room, then let out a heavy sigh as she collapsed against the couch. “Oh, god.”
It had seemed an eternity before Dr. Hapswell left Doe Hill to return to Richmond. Daniel had done everything in his power to keep his colleague from being alone with Corabeth. She thought perhaps he was afraid she would betray their secret. In all fairness, it hadn’t been easy. Corabeth wanted to scream it out at the top of her lungs.
Breakfast that morning was sheer torture. Mother had been watching them like a hawk all morning. Corabeth did her best to keep her voice even and her cheeks unblushed, but every time he looked at her she couldn’t help smiling. She could hardly wait to be free of the company of others and alone with her Daniel in the cool mountain air.
He was oddly silent as they made their way up the mountain. She supposed he was shy after so long apart. Once it was safe, she wrapped her arm in his and kissed his cheek.
“Corabeth...” he started.
“I could barely sleep last night. I couldn’t wait for the dawn to come so we could be alone again.”
“Corabeth, we need to talk. Seriously.”
She flashed him a coltish smile. “I don’t want to talk seriously. I want to go up to the creek and be very, very unserious.” She nuzzled against him, trying to coax a smile from that stern expression. “Danny, please. Don’t ruin it.”
He stopped short. “Corabeth, I can’t let this go on one minute longer. I have something important to tell you, and I have to do it now.”
She frowned. “All right, then. Tell me.”
He began to speak, but hesitated slightly. “Maybe we should sit down.”
“Do I need to sit down?” she quipped, but took the seat he offered her beneath a nearby tree.
“Corabeth...” He coughed, pushing a strand of hair out of his eyes with one hand. “Corabeth--”
“Yes?”
“I’m leaving for Richmond tomorrow.”
She could hardly hide the disappointment in her face. “Oh, Daniel, no! How long will you be gone?”
“That’s just it, Corabeth.” He couldn’t meet her intense gaze. “I’m...I’m not coming back. My sabbatical is over, and I need to go back and prepare for the fall semester.”
“But can’t you--”
“No, Corabeth, I can’t. I can’t extend it; I can’t postpone it. I can’t stay here anymore.”
Corabeth felt her heart drop to her stomach. How could he be leaving? How would she ever manage to live with him gone? “Danny...” She could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. “Danny, take me with you.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“I’ll work. I’ll earn my way. Please, Danny, don’t leave me here.”
If possible, Daniel looked even more uncomfortable than before. “Corabeth, I can’t marry you. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
“I don’t need much. As long as I’m with you, I don’t need anything else.”
“I told you, Corabeth. I can’t marry you. It’s impossible.”
She took his hands in hers, kissing the knuckles fervently. “You don’t need to marry me. I don’t care. Take me with you.”
“Oh, Jesus, Corabeth.” He shook his hands free. “I can’t marry you. I can’t live with you. I can’t take you back to Richmond.” His eyes clouded over and his cheeks turned a dark rose. “I’m already married.”
“How did you feel when you found out he was married?”
Corabeth looked at the psychiatrist with disbelief. “How do you think I felt?”
“Who’s asking the questions here, Mrs. Godsey?” His light tone did nothing to ease the mood. He looked her straight in the eye, urging her not to retreat behind the shell once more. “Come on, Corabeth. Don’t stop now.”
Corabeth lowered her eyes, shifting in her seat. Finally, she drew in a deep breath and continued. “At first, well, I didn’t believe him. He didn’t wear a ring. He had never done or said anything to make me believe he was married. But it was true. He showed me a picture of her.” Corabeth let her head drop backwards slightly as she let out a dark laugh. “I was the ultimate tragic ingenue. I started to run back home, back down the mountain to my safe little boring life. But...”
“But what?” Elliott leaned forward, hoping she wouldn’t back down this time.
“When I got almost all the way down the mountain, I stumbled. I guess I wasn’t paying attention, because when I tried to stand up, my foot slid and I wound up falling into a cravasse.” She wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. “I suffered a concussion and internal injuries. I was unconscious for several days. When I finally came around,” she shook her head. “Danny was gone. I never saw him again.”
Part 4
