Godsey’s General Mercantile. Ike is seated at the counter, doing the books. Enter Corabeth, stage right.
Corabeth:
Prithee, husband, grant me
A moment of thy time.
Ike:
A moment I will spare, my wife.
What troubles thee this time?
Corabeth:
The garbage, it doth overflow.
I fear thou hath forgot.
Thou sit here with thy ledger, sir,
And leave the trash to rot.Its foul stench I so abhor--
The vile contamine stinks.
To leave it there forever
Is what thou plan, methinks.
Ike:
My wife, please curb thy wicked tongue.
Methinks thou doth me wrong.
The trash hath been there just one day;
It hath not lingered long.
Corabeth:
Oh, foul and faithless husband,
How can thou chasten so?
Think thou I cannot count the time
It took that pile to grow?This house is full of clutter,
The mess I cannot bear.
If thou wilt not assist me,
Please find a bed elsewhere!
Ike:
Oh clever wench, thou mocketh me.
Thou wilt not send away
The husband who protects thee
And all the bills doth pay.
Corabeth:
Ah, “clever thing,” thou whisper
And think my thoughts to turn
Towards matters less important
While more time thou doth burn?
Ike:
Speak thou of unimportance?
Be gone, ungrateful wretch!
I feed and clothe and house thee--
Regard, I’m quite a catch!
Corabeth:
A catch? Forgive my laughter--
I fear my sides will crack!
If thou were all I caught today,
Methinks I’d throw thee back!
Ike:
Unkind, foul-tempered harpy
Say no such thing again.
If thou desire my company,
I’m at the Dew Drop Inn!
Ike exits upstage.
Corabeth:
Yes, go my love, be gone then--
Thy cap is on the shelf.
As for the trash, don’t bother.
I’ll take it out myself.Be merry, drink and gossip,
Enjoy yourself, carouse.
When thou returneth, thou shalt find
New locks upon the house.How thou wilt beg, repent, and moan
When thy warm bed thou miss.
But bring me silver, if thou hopes
My lips to once more kiss.
