Why Janeway Rules and the Rest Just Drool

This was originally written as a response on the Star Trek: Voyager wwwboard. Someone posted saying he thought Picard was the best and Janeway was the worst captain ever. Of course, I beg to differ. And here's why:

1. Janeway has more hair - which means you can tell when she's frazzled. Picard - he has to rely on facial expressions.

2. Janeway's got eye candy er... Chakotay. Picard has - Riker.

3. Janeway has told people to 'go to hell' and meant it. Picard invites them to chat in his Ready Room over a cup of tea.

4. When Janeway knows there's trouble, she picks up a phaser rifle. Picard's weapon of choice? Worf.

5. She's never had to pretend to be in love with an officer's mother.

6. Q picked her over Picard to be a godparent to his child.

7. Q picked her over Picard and Sisko to um... well, mate with him.

8. Janeway's not afraid to get in a physical confrontation when things get tough. Picard has to call on an officer to do the dirty work. Sisko just runs away and abandons what he was told to command.

9. Janeway's not afraid to play around with the temporal prime directive. Picard has to think through what's going on before he takes action.

10. Two words: Better lines.

11. Janeway knew better than to let a kid save the day - Picard had to keep calling on Wesley.

12. Two words: Better sleepwear. (I mean, come on - what WAS that thing Picard would wear to bed?)

13. She actually sounds like she's from where she's supposed to be from. (Hello? When did the English accent jump over the Channel?)

14. Gives MUCH better 'heart to heart' talks. I mean, when you're on a ship away from home and missing your mommy, would you really rather chat with Sisko, Picard or Kirk?

15. Doesn't let the stupid counselor drive the ship into a planet.

16. Promoted happiness in the center of command. Sometimes we'd see the officers actually having *fun* on the bridge for more than one second!

17. When push came to shove, Janeway used her feminine wiles (as in pretended to be a prostitute) to save her crew. I really hope Picard, Sisko and Kirk wouldn't try that.

18. (From "63 Reasons Why Janeway is Better than Picard"): "Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasle her way out of it with philosophical ramblings."

19. Picard, Sisko and Kirk couldn't provide tinder for a fire on a planet without the aid of technology. Janeway could - and I bet even when he hair was shorter it was still possible.

20. Picard, Sisko and Kirk never got VanGogh's flying machine to work.

21. Janeway never had a holodeck character take over the ship.

22. (Another one from "63 Reasons Why...") "She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands."

23. Janeway can slouch. Picard would look stupid if he tried.

24. Realises that sexual relations with those serving under her is a bad idea. (Kirk, take the hint!)

25. Do you really think Picard would have dared to venture aboard a Borg ship, let alone willingly be assimilated?

26. (So many form "63 Reasons Why..") " Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off."

27. Was actually engaged at some point(s) of her life. Picard couldn't/wouldn't even get Dr. Crusher. (I'm not counting "All Good Things...")

28. Her replicator knows what temperature ot make her favourite drink. After 7 years, Picard couldn't even get that one correct.

29. She talks to her ship. 'The Boys" never did.

30. (Maybe I should just copy "63 Reasons Why.."?) "Her first officer has a halucinogenic device."

31. Janeway's actually allowed to go on away missions, Picard needs his nanny's (Riker) approval.

32. From the list: "Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him and she accepted."

33. Janeway made do without the 'best and the brightest' Starfleet had to offer. And even found time to try and lift the spirits of the worst of them.

34. Janeway's got that sarcasm thing down pat.

35. Janeway wasn't helpless when she was assimilated by Borg.

36. Janeway didn't run the other way from the Borg - she actually chased them down! (Sisko, take note.)

37. Janeway's doctor can work 24/7.

38. When faced with helping others or sticking to the Prime Directive, she decides to help others and worry about it later.

39. Janeway's on a first name basis with half the admirals. ("Those admirals and I are on a first name basis."

40. Janeway gives hugs. Picard gives... well, I won't go there.

41. Picard fences. Janeway hits her security officer with a tennis ball to keep him on his toes.

42. Sisko's considered a god. Janeway thinks religion is for dummies.

43. Kirk couldn't cut it as an admiral. Janeway's still an admiral.

44. Picard and Sisko COMBINED haven't discovered half as many planets and stuff as Janeway.

45. Janeway doesn't sleep. (Too much coffee!)

46. Janeway drinks a more manly drink than Picard.

47. Janeway will tell you when you're annoying her. Picard just tries to avoid you.

48. When in a tight spot, Picard will try to talk his way out. Janeway will threaten to self-destruct the ship. (Or is it just a threat? ;)

49. Janeway can surprise even a Vulcan.

50. Janeway kicks Klingon butt and steals their stuff. (Picard just speaks the language.)

51. Janeway's been known to let her hair down - literally. Picard, Sisko and Kirk can't. (Well, unless Kirk is putting down his toupee.)

52. Janeway don't play no sissy flute. ;)

53. Her crew could build a super-cool shuttle from scratch. All the other captains just ordered from the latest Starfleet catalog.

54. She can insult a culture just by putting her hands on her hips.

55. What's that cool technology Admiral Janeway brought over?

56. Picard's older than Janeway's mother. ;)

57. Picard got yelled at by Boothby. Janeway got roses from him.

58. Janeway's Borg still kept the most useful parts of Borg technology. Picard's crew through his out.

59. Janeway never went fishing or horse riding on the holodeck. Her holodeck experience brought her into a B-movie, a pool hall, a gothic novel (ok, I'd rather fish), and an Irish town where she's thought of as a cool 'alien' creature (see end of "Spirit Folk").

60. Janeway can shoot pool. Picard can't even shoot.

61. Facial expressions. Need I say more?

62. Janeway can carry a grudge.

63. Janeway admits when she's wrong and doesn't make excuses.

64. Janeway kicked the only Ferengi nearby 70,000 lightyears. Sisko couldn't even get rid of his Ferengi.

65. Could you really see Kirk, Picard or Sisko sitting around in their quarters with their officers joking about how their doctor is related to a toaster? (Or was it an electric shaver?)

Oops, forgot about Archer... so here's some more:

66. Archer's quarters are about the size of Janeway's bathroom.

67. Janeway never allowed her ship's gravity to go offline while someone was in the shower.

68. Janeway's bathtub is bigger than Arhcer's quarters.

69. Q never asked Archer to have his child.

70. Janeway wouldn't put up with having a first officer foisted upon her.

71. Archer's ship: You return from away mission, you need to spread goo all over yourself while standing in your undies. Janeway's: You walk off the transporter.

72. Archer's doctor heals people with what Neelix would use to cook. And Janeway's doctor can be turned off when he gets annoying.

73. Two words: Universal translator. (Yeah, Janeway's is like decades ahead of Arhcer's. Wait... that doesn't make sense, nm.)

74. Janeway kicked more Borg butt than Archer.

75. Janeway wouldn't spend a whole season looking for some weapon on her own. She'd have created a mini-Federation of ships to work out the problem and share technology.

76. Janeway's transporters actually work more than half the time.

77. Janeway's chair is sooo much more comfy than Archer's.

78. Janeway has her chef doing more than one job. Oh, and we actually see Janeway's chef.

79. Janeway never got duped into using some disreputable repair station when her ship was broken.

80. Janeway's ship could beat Archer's in a race any day, any time. And with one nacelle tied behind Voyager's back.